Is Your Second Act Stagnant? Examine Your Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs keep large dog trapped behind small gateMy daughter recently purchased a pure-breed Newfoundland puppy. It was an adorable bundle of black fur, and now at 7 months old, it is a huge, energetic, and still-growing bundle of black fur. The dog rapidly outgrew the kitchen space it spends a portion of the day in, blocked only by toddler gates. The dog can easily leap up and drape its massive front legs over either gate, but never jumps the gate. Why? Because as a puppy, the gates prevented escape. Now, 7 months later, the dog still believes it cannot escape.

Do you have a business idea you’d like to pursue? Are you itching to try something new in your life? Are you bursting at the seams to break free of your boundaries but feel something isn’t right? Maybe it’s time to examine your mental gates. Just as my daughter’s puppy believes it cannot escape its kitchen confines, we are blocked by limiting beliefs. What’s worse is we may not be aware of these beliefs. Some imprint on us at an early age. Some are as easy to overcome as stepping over a barrier, but it’s our beliefs that keep us trapped. Here are a few exercises to help you explore your past to identify and remove the beliefs that are holding you back.

What challenges did you have as a child?

Did you struggle in school? Were you bullied? Did you have a learning disability? These situations can influence us early in life which leads to early limiting beliefs. As you explore your childhood, review your memories to discover events that may have contributed to your current beliefs.

What was home life like?

What elements of family life crept into your subconscious? Did your family struggle with money? Were you raised by a single-parent? Did your parents work long hours? How our parents or guardians handled these situations plus overheard conversations can impact our beliefs. For instance, I was the quiet child who preferred to stay home, read, and be by myself. Meanwhile, all my cousins excelled in school, sports, and extracurricular activities. I overheard my uncle ask my dad what activities I enjoyed. My dad’s answer: “Kristen marches to the beat of a different drummer.” There was no disappointment or animosity in his tone, however, I knew I was different and for a long time, believed I was too different to make a difference. Thirty years later, I was able to release that limiting belief and pursue my own interests.

What experiences did you have that influenced your life?Large dog believes he can't jump gate

Did death touch your family unexpectedly? Or a natural disaster? Did you move a lot? If you were always the new kid at school, you may have a belief that you won’t fit in, which may translate to your business idea won’t fit in. Were you unemployed or laid-off? This may translate into the limiting belief that you are unemployable.

Give yourself time to review your memories and experiences, then list the ideas that stand out most. Next, reshape those thoughts through meditation, writing, and repetition. For instance, if you moved a lot, reshape a limiting belief to, “I have regional and cultural experience that will be helpful to my business.”

Make each mantra a new habit. Repetition and persistence—especially when you feel blocked by the thought—will help release that limiting belief.

I recently attended a series of webinars on career reinvention for Boomers and GenXers in which confidence was a top issue. The common thread was how to rebuild following our outdated beliefs:

Beliefs => thoughts => actions => results

How are your beliefs influencing your results? If you find your progress less than satisfactory and the results you seek are still out of reach, then you’re overdue to reexamine your beliefs. Some of them will be easy to overcome, like a dog jumping over a gate, while others will take longer to redirect. Explore the exercises above, weed them out, and then reframe them with newer, positive and productive beliefs.

And step over your gate!

Kristen Edens
Making Midlife Better

Ditch the Job Boards! Build Your Second Act Brand Instead

Rejection stamp image signifying denied from job boardsFinding a job is always a difficult task. In my early job-hunt days (age 16 to 26), I would physically VISIT job agencies or the location I wished to work. Attempts to reach the manager often failed but resulted in an almost friendly invitation by an office manager to fill out an application onsite or to mail it in. Today, the process is hastened by the internet, which still results in a long wait…to NO.

I began freelancing in 2006 and took my business to full time in 2008. I scoured the online job boards with resolute determination, especially early days or when clients were few. Guess how many jobs I acquired through these boards.

NOT ONE!Kristen's job post rejection from online job boards

Unless you count the client that asked me to write a full 10-page website for $6. Yes, SIX DOLLARS!

After two primary clients ended their contracts earlier this year, I returned to the job boards with cautious hope. It didn’t take long, however, to walk the agonizing road to NO. Through the process, I discovered that only 7 to 15 percent of job openings are filled through online applications and that most job placement occurs through REFERRALS or my own ACTION. Even as a teenager, building awareness to MY EXISTENCE, AVAILABILITY, and ABILITY was more effective than filling out flat sheets of paper. Back then, as now, I built my brand.

While the job hunt hasn’t changed, what we bring to the world has. We have 30+ years of knowledge and experience and the determination to make something new. Therefore, it’s time to abandon the job boards and build your brand and your second act with these action steps.

  • Create a social media presence where your audience (B2C) AND your peers (B2B) are (these are often not the same).
  • Create bios suitable for both audiences
  • Create an elevator speech that is adaptable to your audience
  • Attend local events related to your industry and niche. Be visible to attendees and event organizers.
  • Volunteer at events
  • Find your people online. Connect, like, follow, comment.
  • Join social media groups related to your industry and niche—Facebook groups, LinkedIn groups, and Twitter chats are top methods to build awareness, discover trends, identify needs.
  • Above all: FOLLOW UP! Keep in touch through social media, blogging, newsletters, events, and conversation.

Sound intimidating? Perhaps time-consuming? Nope. When weighed against the long wait to NO from an online job application, these methods keep you active and top of mind.

Put your time and talent in yourself and build the brand that gets things done: YOU!

Kristen Edens
Making Midlife Better