And Suddenly Children Move Back Home, part 2

“Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.”
—Bill Cosby

Last week I shared the shock of receiving the call from our adult child requesting to move back home. We’ve had no chance to experience empty nest syndrome and, therefore, no chance to wish for them to be closer—not moving in, just closer.

But you said yes. Now reality strikes.

Let’s review:

“I’ll get to see my grandchild daily!”

So true. You’ll see her happy moments. You’ll witness her first step, her first tooth, her first, “No!” You’ll be there when she’s cute and when she’s sick. You’ll pick up those nasty toddler germs faster than she can throw a tantrum. On the flip side, you’ll get special grandparent moments once in a while.

“Family dinners”

You’ll try this several times before you realize you get as much grumping from your adult child as you do from your grandchild. Your child may fuss about setting the table, but your grandchild will be happy to help. Just prepare yourself for a thin coating of toddler mystery-juice on your silverware. As for healthy meals, you’ll fast get tired of the twenty-something cuisine: pizza, ramen and Progresso soup. You’ll also tire of preparing a healthy meal that goes ignored and under-appreciated.

“Babysitting Schedule”

Forget your work schedule. Especially if you have a home office. You can talk yourself blue explaining that you have specific work hours and that you will not stray from them. You’ll even lie and say you can’t because you have meetings away from the office or client calls. It’s okay—they won’t believe you anyway.

“Rent Money”

Payment is late. Often delivered with a grumpy face. Any request for chores is met with scorn and, depending on the day, “I just paid rent. How about you use that money to hire a cleaning service?”

“Specific Work Hours”

You’ve got them, but they are modified daily to take advantage of quiet times, sleep schedules, emergency babysitting, delivering the toddler to daycare, Urgent Care, etc. You become the queen/king of efficiency amidst disaster. Instead of Monday through Friday, you’ll be taking care of business on weekends or late at night.

“Rent money return”

You still want to be super-parent, but unexpected and unplanned expenses will arise:

• buying a car seat
• paying to have the car cleaned after a nasty vomit explosion
• emergency childcare coverage
• paying for co-working space during deadlines

I call them ‘inconvenience fees’. It helps diffuse the frustration.

The toughest challenge is to get your child to understand that you DO love him or her and you DO love your grandchild. Yes, you are grandma/pa, but you are working! You have a strict schedule whether at your home office or at a location outside of home. Stick to your schedule and your goals and continually remind your child. They’ll understand.

Someday.

What are your experiences? Share below and share with your friends!

Kris the Scribbler
A grandparent in business

photo image 1: a small portion of my basement
photo image 2: courtesy of jesadaphorn at freedigitalphotos.net