And Suddenly Children Move Back Home, part 1
“When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.”
― Rodney Dangerfield
Does this sound familiar?
- You’ve made sacrifices and adjustments to begin or build your business.
- You’ve created your home office haven and have comfortably settled into a new lifestyle & schedule.
- You’re acquiring clients which need your uninterrupted time & attention.
It’s taken some time and modifications, but economic and personal recovery is occurring and looking…promising.
But then you get a phone call: “Mom, can we come live with you for a while? It will be for only a few months as I catch up with bills and save up a little money.”
Deep down, you knew it would happen.
Inwardly, you cringe. You’re first thoughts will be:
“I’ll get to see my grandchild daily!”
“We’ll continue the family dinners we used to have—when I was growing up.”
“I can babysit evenings and weekends as my schedule allows so she can save up money faster.”
“I’ll have extra help around the house.”
“I’ll charge a low rent, secretly save it then offer it back as a reward for when she moves out. I’ll be the best mother!”
“I’ll set specific work hours and all will be well.”
Does this sound familiar?
Despite minor trepidation, you say, “Let’s discuss this in person. We have several things to work out before I say yes.”
This will be the fastest your child agrees with you. Regardless of the situation, it’s dire in her eyes and there’s probably something she isn’t revealing. That will come later.
It always does.
However, we understand. It’s tough out there. Many millennials are facing the same unemployment, financial, mental and emotional challenges we share. Their best option: move back home. (Secretly, we may welcome it to help with our situation too…but we’d never reveal it!)
So why us?
They know us. They are comfortable with us even though most of their teen and twenty-something years were spent hating or being angry at us. This also means they know our weaknesses.
We’re stable. Most likely we’ve stayed in the same house they grew up in and that’s a sign of stability and familiarity. If, like me, you’re divorced, then your child has chosen the lesser of the two evils. Another likelihood is your child lived with one parent, found it unacceptable for whatever reason and is trying the other. It’s all about stability.
The bubble burst: It’s always dreamy to shack up with best friends and share responsibilities. To our children, it’s better (and more fun) than moving back home. But it fails fast. Someone ‘forgets’ to hold their end of the financial responsibilities and then the friendship is suddenly on rocky ground. The situation becomes unstable. The dream ends and the call arrives.
It’s all about love: When in a bind, they know we’ll help. Especially when our grandchildren are involved.
Then you say yes. You’ll encounter joys and challenges but there will also be opportunities. For me, it was the inspiration behind Managing Midlife.
What’s your story? Comment below! Then tune in next week for part two of the experience.
Kristen Edens